Recently (actually a couple of months ago) I organised a Cambodian driver's license and I've started to occasionally brave the chaotic traffic. The rules of driving in Cambodia are very simple, once you understand them.
The first rule is that pretty much anything goes. You drive where you want, when you want. Whether it's going the wrong way up a one way street, driving on the wrong side of the road, going through red lights, drifting across lanes, overtaking into oncoming traffic, or stopping in the middle of the road, all of it happens regularly. You have to expect anybody to do anything at any time.
The second rule is that if you're going to do something obviously dangerous, either do it slowly, or very quickly.
The next rule is that bicycles give way to motorbikes, which give way to cars, which give way to 4WDs. This is partly because of the arrogance of the rich, who usually drive to biggest vehicle they can afford, and partly a practical consideration (bikes are much more maneuverable than 4WDs). For example, if a truck decides to overtake another truck, which is overtaking a tuk-tuk, which is overtaking a pedestrian, and the oncoming traffic is only motorbikes, this is not a problem - the motorbikes all move to the side. If the oncoming traffic contains cars, this is a bit more difficult, although it still happens.
The final rule of driving in Cambodia is to look for policemen at the intersections. The only time I have ever seen policemen in this country is sitting at intersections. They usually sit in packs of 3 or 4. The head guy, who is privileged enough to have earned a big motorbike, lounges back in a chair beneath an umbrella. The job of his lower-ranked underlings is to collect people who break what might laughingly be referred to as "the law", and take them to the head guy, who never leaves his chair. The head guy then collects his bribe, and they move on to the next person. There is never any shortage of traffic infringements at busy intersections, so they don't have to stay there long to make a tidy profit - usually a few hours in enough. You might think I am exaggerating or being cynical, but this is literally how law enforcement works in Cambodia.
Anyway, I had been told about all this, so I knew what to expect when I was pulled over last week. My crime was stopping too far into the intersection at a red light. My front wheels had crossed the line. I was waved over to the side of the road, next to the head guy lounging on his chair. My first thought was to let the Cambodian guy in the car with us deal with it - but they would have none of that. I was waved over to the head guy, who was clearly the only one who spoke any english. How do I do this? The arrogance in his eyes made me nervous.
"You have licen?"
"Ahhh... I'm sorry?"
"Licen. You have licen?"
"Licen... oh license! Yes I have license." I gave it to him. He opened a clipboard and looked at a form, but didn't write anything. He had a pile of licenses next to him, wrapped in a elastic band. Then he took out a blank sheet of paper and slowly drew a diagram of the intersection.
"Line here. You stop here! Not good." I nodded solemnly.
"You are foreigner. I take your licen." He brandished his pile of licenses. "Understand?"
I knew, of course, that they don't confiscate licenses for traffic offenses, but I decided not to press him on that point. I just nodded - "I understand."
I didn't really know what was meant to come next. Should I suggest that we could make some sort of "other arrangement"? Should I get my wallet out and start flashing notes around? That seemed like a bad idea. Fortunately, he was more than happy to help me out.
His face broke out of the serious, menacing look he had been giving, and he gave a faint smile. "Today Sunday. Buy Angkor beer." That threw me a little. Did he want me to drive off and bring him back a beer? I didn't know where the nearest bottle shop was.
"Buy Angkor beer... " I repeated vaguely, hoping for some more clarification, but none was forthcoming. Clearly, he had established his position and the ball was in my court now.
"So... Angkor beer one dollar - I give you one dollar?" I said hopefully. He just chuckled and shook his head. Whatever imaginary rules existed for this exchange, I wasn't playing by them. He decided he would have to clarify things a bit.
"You are foreigner, I take licen. Or you pay ten dollar, finish. Buy Angkor beer. Ok?"
Now it was time for some bargaining. Let me share with you what I have learnt about bargaining from my time in Asia. The first rule of bargaining is you should never really want the thing that you are bargaining for - always be prepared to walk away. Unfortunately that didn't apply in this situation. I needed my license back, and I don't think he would have taken too kindly to me walking away at that point. The second rule is to know the value of the thing you are bargaining for, and stick to that price. Again, I was at a disadvantage here. I didn't really know what the going rate was for bribing policemen. Someone had told me once but in the heat of the moment I couldn't remember. The next rule is that if you
really don't know the value, a good place to start is at half of their initial offer. So that's what I did.
"Ten dollars is a lot of money," I said, screwing my face up in feigned concern. "I can give five dollars, and finish. " I spread my fingers out, palms down, to underline the finality of the arrangement.
He nodded. The deal was done. There was no more bartering, which is a sure sign that I was already paying too much. Apparently the standard bribe that Cambodians give for traffic offences is 3000 riel (about 75 cents). When I drove past again half an hour later, they were gone - off to buy their Angkor beer.
Corruption is a way of life here. It's not only because of the greediness of those in positions of power. Public servants like policemen are paid about $50 a month, which is barely enough to live off, let alone support a family, so it's almost a necessity. Still, it's not a healthy state for a country to be in.
So that's today's lesson on how to bribe a policeman, drive in crazy traffic, and bargain. I hope you've all learnt something.
